


I Object

by Ruddcatha



Series: Ruddcatha's Inuyasha One Shots [3]
Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Attorney AU, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Happy Birthday Lavendertwilight89, Inuyasha likes to swear, Lost and Found (if you squint hard), Romance, Vulnerable Inuyasha, soul searching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:08:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27246277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ruddcatha/pseuds/Ruddcatha
Summary: Inuyasha and Kagome met on their first day of law school, quickly becoming friends and study partners. Two years after they graduate, fate throws them a curve ball, and they face each other in the courtroom for the first time. When the case forces some harsh realizations and soul searching, will their relationship survive?
Relationships: Higurashi Kagome/InuYasha, Miroku/Sango (InuYasha)
Series: Ruddcatha's Inuyasha One Shots [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2081619
Comments: 21
Kudos: 72
Collections: Divergent Adventures of Inuyasha





	I Object

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lavendertwilight89](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lavendertwilight89/gifts).



> Birthday story for Lavendertwilight89, I hope you enjoy dear!!!

“Inuyasha…” Kagome Higurashi’s shoulders shook as her chocolate eyes blinked back tears as she stared at her opponent. She tucked a strand of ebony hair behind her ear, ashamed of how badly her hand trembled. “I… After all this time, all the years we have known each other, did I ever fucking know you? Or did you really sell your soul to become Sesshomaru’s clone?”

“Kagome…” the tall white-haired man started, his hand raising to reach for the petite woman, two dog ears at the top of his head drooping as golden eyes watched her backing away. He fought back a whimper as the scent of vanilla and strawberries that always drew him turned sour as it mixed with the scent of her tears. 

“You know what, Inuyasha? I don’t need this. I don’t need you. Not anymore.” Her voice had gone quiet, and Inuyasha winced. Kagome spun on her heels to storm down the halls of the courthouse and out of his life, and he felt as though the world was suddenly… less. Less vibrant, less enjoyable, just… less. 

He had fucked up.

And he hadn’t even realized it until it was too late.

The hanyou stumbled to one of the benches in the hallway, dropping without a care for the expensive custom suit he wore. He ran a hand through his short hair and cursed. This was well beyond any of their usual arguments, the gentle ribbing of friends and rivals in law. There had been none of the soft touches that let him know she was joking that always left him craving more. This was… this was real. Kagome only went quiet when she meant what she said.

God, he was fucked.

Inuyasha’s client stepped out of the courtroom and crossed to the young attorney.

“Excellent job, Inuyasha.” Inuyasha looked up into the black eyes of Onigumo Tsuchigumo, president of Shikon Corporation. “Taisho and Associates lived up to its reputation.”

“Thanks,” Inuyasha replied softly. “We do our best for our clients.”

“Mmm,” the man smirked. “I am pleased that you did not let your… bias… get in the way of doing what was in our best interests. Until the next time.”

Inuyasha watched as the man walked away, following the same hall Kagome had disappeared down, his white suit a stark contrast to his dark black hair, tied back with a leather strap and fought back a growl.

“Bias my ass,” Inuyasha grumbled.

He didn’t have any bias… just because he was a hanyo he didn’t see why that would have anything to do with his ability to defend his client.

… Except he had defended his client for firing a hanyo for no other reason than because she was a hanyo.

“Baka,” he whispered, guilt rushing through him. In the two years after law school he had developed a technique, taught to him by his brother, of watching, analyzing his opposing counsel, searching for weaknesses. Oh, not weaknesses in the case, but weaknesses in  _ them… _ weaknesses he could expose to the jury and use to undermine their credibility.

After all, any good attorney will tell you that the facts of your case are only 40% of the picture, how the jury responds to you and your client make up the other 60%. And Inuyasha was good at drawing in the jury. He had the charisma, the good looks, the persona down pat. The sympathetic defense counsel who was very sorry for what the plaintiff had gone through, while simultaneously painting a picture that showed the jury it was the person testifying from the stand’s own incompetence that caused their injury, not any nefarious plot of his client. 

Pair that with his ability to make his opposing counsel look like a bumbling fool with a few placed barbs, and a few innocuous comments, just enough to have the attorney lash back out and then have to apologize, inevitably irritating the jury.

It worked like a charm every time. And hell, it had worked here. He knew that his client had fired Shiori Nodeppo because she was a hanyo, and for no other reason. Yet he had just successfully defended his client in the wrongful termination suit because he showed Shiori had lied on her employment application, listing her species as ‘Human’ rather than ‘other.’ A mere technicality, not legitimately enough to get her fired, but enough to start painting a pattern of behavior that diverted the jury away from the actual issue… the discrimination.

Yes, even in 2020, when marriages between humans and yokai were perfectly legal, hanyo was not a recognized species, and there was still lingering prejudice against them in the workforce. It was almost seen as a disability, which is how Kagome had become involved. Kagome worked as an Employment Attorney with a specialization in disability and hanyo law… mostly she had said because of what she saw him go through during law school trying to get internships and with their professors. She had represented Shiori in what should have been an open and shut case. They had the proof, they had the comments, the emails, the testimony of former co-workers.

Except Inuyasha had fallen back into his pattern, his habits, and  _ fuck _ his personal knowledge of her through their five years of friendship to fluster her, throw her off her game. Hell, he had made the jury laugh at her witnesses as he painted them as disgruntled ex-employees with an agenda. And for what? Another win for Sesshomaru’s firm. Nothing he had said had been particularly horrible taken individually, but collectively? He had made her look like a fledgling attorney who didn’t know how to try a case, instead of the accomplished, successful,  _ amazing _ attorney that she is.

Inuyasha’s head fell backward as his eyes closed. When had things gone so wrong? When had he lost himself? Kagome was right; he was turning into Sesshomaru 2.0. She was the one person he had never wanted to hurt, and he had just gutted her before the judge and jury.

His monthly outings for coffee with Kagome were the one highlight of his month, the only thing he actually looked forward to, and now… now he would never see her again. He would never get to hear her gentle laughter, feel the soft brush of her hand against his, see her brown eyes sparkle in the light, her black hair shining as it danced around her face.. Inuyasha felt his eyes start to burn and hurriedly brushed away any evidence of tears as he heard doors open further down the hallway, another trial had just concluded. 

Inuyasha pushed himself off his bench, his body going on autopilot as he made his way back to his penthouse apartment. He looked at his phone, his heart breaking as he saw there were no messages from Kagome. they had always texted each other at the end of a trial, Kagome to gush about a successful verdict or to lament about the “soulless bastards who take pleasure in getting away with hurting people” when she lost.

Now he fell into that second category…

And he had lost her before he even had a chance to have her.

He dropped his jacket on the back of the couch; he didn’t care if it wrinkled, that’s what the dry cleaners were for. And if they couldn’t get it out, he would just have another made. Money was no object; he had his inheritance and an exorbitant salary as a junior partner at Taisho and Associates. The benefits of being the owner’s brother.

But fuck it was hollow… the one bright thing he had in his life, his one constant…

_ FUCK. _

He needed a drink… He needed...

Ah hell, he needed Kagome.

Ever since the first day of law school he had needed her.

It had taken one hell of an essay (and a substantial donation from Sesshomaru to secure the  _ legacy _ admission) for New York University to accept Inuyasha into law school. He had the grades, and had scored a 179 on his LSAT, had glowing recommendations from his political science and business professors, but that hadn’t been enough. Even though his father and brother had gone through the school, they were hesitant to accept one of ‘his kind,’ because they wanted to ensure their students could succeed, and they weren’t sure a hanyo could handle the pressure of law school without… endangering the students.

It was amazing how quickly that objection went away when Sesshomaru gave the school a donation to expand their law library. That was the motto he had been raised with: money talks. 

But money wouldn’t buy him grades. Inuyasha was determined to do this on his own merits, no matter what obstacles he would face, or the prejudice of his classmates. He had something to prove, not to them, but to himself and to his brother. He was one of the lucky ones, no matter how he did in school he had a job waiting for him, but pride had him pushing himself to excel. 

He had arrived early for the first day of class; Contracts began at 9, and he walked in at 8:30, expecting to be the first person there. To his surprise, the room was already occupied, and when he walked in the door his knees had nearly buckled. The woman sat at the center of the front row, long black hair tied back in a high ponytail, her skin glowing against a purple NYU T-shirt that hugged her curves. She glanced up as she heard him enter, and he saw chocolate eyes sparkle as she smiled.

“Another early bird?” Her voice sounded like music to his ears.

“As my brother says… half an hour is early, fifteen is on time.”

“And on time is late,” she finished with him before softly laughing. “I thought I was the only one who actually believed that.”

Inuyasha’s mouth had gone dry as he walked towards the rows of the classroom setting. As gorgeous as she was (and  _ damn _ , she was gorgeous) he was nervous to sit next to her, even though he preferred to be in the front row. It made it easier to hear the professor, and the sounds of the other students wouldn’t interfere with his hearing.

“I found it helps to get in early to find good seating, but I don’t know if anyone is really going to want to be in the front row, it tends to be the hot seat for this professor,” the woman offered, and Inuyasha felt his lips twitch.

“Keh, bring it. The more you debate the subject the better you know it.” 

The woman beamed at him “EXACTLY!!!! So be brave and sit up here.” She stood and held out a hand as he approached “I’m Kagome, Kagome Higurashi.”

“Inuyasha Taisho.” The moment his hand touched hers he felt as if he had been struck by lightning; electricity coursed through his body as her scent, a blend of vanilla and Strawberries, flooded his senses. In that one moment, he knew she would be both a blessing and a curse…

And one hell of a distraction.

After that first day they had become inseparable, quickly forming a study group with the only other two members of their class brave enough to sit in the front row, Miroku and Sango. At the end of the year they had all celebrated as they got their grades in and found out all had been selected after the writing competition for positions on law review and moot court. Over the summer they had kept in touch as they each went to their first summer internships, Inuyasha to his family firm, Kagome to the Public Defender, Sango to an animal rights firm and Miroku a civil rights firm. 

For their second year, Kagome and Sango shared a dorm in D’Agostino Hall, while Miroku and Inuyasha moved into Hayden Hall… Not that any of them were home much, between classes, studying, preparing for competitions, and working with their various journals. Their dorms were a place to crash, maybe…  _ maybe _ eat, but mostly to get a few hours of sleep before starting the process again.

It was a grueling schedule for anyone, but for Inuyasha, it had been even more grueling. He was given extra assignments by professors, and faced discrimination because he was half human, half yokai. He remembered Kagome yelling at his writing professor (who thankfully was not  _ her _ professor too…) because every time he turned in a paper with his name on it he received the lowest grade in the class, but when it was an anonymous paper, he had the highest score. 

Inuyasha had never…  _ NEVER _ had anyone fight for him before. That was all it took. He was a goner.

By the end of second year he was head over heels in love with the dark-haired beauty. She knew everything about him: his hopes and dreams, his fears… she had been the first person outside his family who knew of his human night during the new moon. She had told him all about her, all about growing up in a shrine, the antics she had pulled with her three best friends. Kagome had made sure to introduce him to her family when they came to visit, and he was soon made part of their routine. He adored her mother and brother, and had respect for her grandfather, even if he did try to purify Inuyasha at every visit. 

Each visit, the first words out of her brother Souta’s mouth were “are you two dating yet?”

And every time Inuyasha would watch Kagome’s face flush, her scent deepening with embarrassment as she smacked her brother upside her head. 

“Baka, who has time to date in law school?” Kagome would fume as Inuyasha laughed, trying to hide how desperately he wished they were.

But Kagome was right, who had time? They had all seen students begin dating, only to either fall apart because of the pressure of school or focus on the relationship and fail out of their courses. So as much as he wanted to ask her out,  _ god did he want to _ , he knew better. Maybe after they graduated…

Third year came and all four of them chose to get an apartment in Greenwich Village, close to campus to try and save costs, as the dorms were expensive, didn’t have decent kitchens, and were too cramped for their four man study group. During the winter break, Sango and Miroku acted on the attraction that had blossomed between them, and Kagome and Inuyasha often found themselves in the living room studying while their roommates disappeared.

Inuyasha couldn’t help but be jealous of them, of Miroku for having the guts to go after what he wanted. 

But Inuyasha bided his time; his yokai recognized her as his, and that was it. He was in love with her; he would wait. He didn’t want to add more pressure to her, Kagome was stressed enough as it was with her elective courses, her journal article, and interviews for her first-year associate position. Kagome had changed her focus during school, she had originally wanted to be a defense attorney, but one summer at the public defender had shown her that it was not for her. She was too soft hearted to defend people who would admit they had committed the crime but looked to her to get them off on some technicality. Her focus and passion had shifted to civil rights and disability law, but she had missed the crucial first summer internship in that field. 

Inuyasha had told her he could get her an interview at Taisho and Associates; after all, he did have an in with the owner of the firm, but she had declined. One, she felt it would be weird to work there, knowing she was only considered because of their friendship which would make people think there was  _ more _ between them, which would undermine her. But more importantly, she didn’t want to work for corporations as outside counsel, she wanted to make a difference, a real difference, for people. The call she was waiting for came just before their final exams; she had been hired for a small boutique firm in Midtown that specialized in employment discrimination cases. The pay wasn’t great, but as Kagome put it, the benefits outweighed the lower salary.

Before he knew it, graduation was upon them, then the dreaded bar exam. There was no down time after graduation; they immediately went into bar review classes from 8-4 every day, and then working on outlines the rest of the evening, trying to commit all the information to memory.

The saying was completely true: you go to law school to learn how to think, take two months to learn how to pass the bar exam, then, and only then, do you actually learn how to become a lawyer. They had done more studying in those two months than their entire law school careers, ending up with 300-page outlines each that they studied day after day until they had as much crammed into their brains as they could.

The two days of the bar exam were a blur: 5,000 hopeful test takers crammed into the Javits Center to take the New York and Multistate Bar Exams. The evening they had finished, the four friends had gone to a local bar, dragging a new friend Kagome had made at the exam site, a kitsune named Shippo, with them to get plastered. Well, the humans got plastered; the yokai and hanyo made sure they got home safely. Inuyasha had taken Kagome to her room as Shippo poured the liquid Miroku and Sango into their bed, leaving his number with Inuyasha so they could make plans to meet up and hang out. 

Inuyasha remembered laying Kagome down and tucking her in, thinking she looked like a sleeping angel, his angel, as he ran a hand over her hair. Kagome had let out a sigh before whispering his name and nuzzling against his hand, causing his heart to stutter before it jumped out of his chest.

Once the exam was over, he had tried to pull up the courage to ask her to go out with him.

Then Sango and Miroku had announced their engagement… and Kagome spent all her free time when she wasn’t working with Sango doing wedding prep. When their lease expired Sango and Miroku moved out to find a place together. Inuyasha had offered to cover the rent if Kagome wanted to stay where they were, but she had declined, she hadn’t wanted to be a burden to him and she wanted to find something closer to work. He had started to ask her then, but her phone had rung, a co-worker by the name of Akitoki Hojo. Kagome had asked if she could be right back, and Inuyasha, like an idiot, said yes, thinking it was related to a case.

It… hadn’t been. 

Hojo had called to ask her out. 

Kagome seemed nervous to tell him, biting her lower lip when she was silent, a sign of indecision with her. He remembered asking her what she wanted to do, and she had stared at him, quiet, her chocolate eyes had captured his gaze as fully as she had captured his heart. Her scent had changed; it was tinged with sadness and depression as she looked away from him with a sigh. 

He should have said something then… he could feel it, but he couldn’t: the fear of losing her, of accidentally pushing her away, had him paralyzed at that moment. With a soft sound of disappointment, she had turned and walked back into her room, closing the door behind her with a soft click.

And so, she had told Hojo yes. Thankfully, that had only lasted a few weeks before she had ended it, saying it just “hadn’t felt right, ya know?” 

Inuyasha was immensely grateful for that. They still spoke daily at that point, even as she moved out to a small apartment in the Lower East Side and he moved to his penthouse in Midtown. As time went on, the contact became more infrequent as their schedules kept them busy, each quickly making a name for themselves in their field. They met once a month for coffee at Meno, the coffee house they had frequented during law school, to touch base and just spend time talking. They still hung out with Miroku and Sango after their wedding, but Meno was  _ their  _ time, even if they weren’t a couple. 

Then the unthinkable happened.

Two years after law school Taisho and Associates had been retained to defend Shikon Corporation in an Employment Discrimination and wrongful termination action, and Kagome had been retained to represent Shiori, the bat hanyo who had been terminated.

And that led him to where he was right then… lost in thought, his heart shattered as he realized just what he had unknowingly done. Everything he had lost.

The hanyo slouched in his chair before standing to get ready for bed, dropping his suit to the floor as he walked. He just… didn’t care what happened to it, the symbol of his success, his position. He just… fuck. 

Inuyasha crossed to the bathroom to brush his teeth, but just stood in the room, his hands clenched on the sink, staring at his reflection.

He didn’t recognize himself anymore. Who had he become?

What the fuck was he doing?

When had he stopped trying to be better, to let himself stagnate as a person as he walked his brother’s footsteps?

He had been so focused on following the path that had been laid out for him that he never stopped to ask the most important question.

Was it what he wanted?

“ _ What impact do you want your life to have? _ ” A question Kagome had asked him in their second year of law school danced through his memories.

Did he want to make an impact? Yeah, he did. 

Could Inuyasha make an impact doing defense? Working to keep a few dollars in a company’s account at the expense of someone who was injured, defending against termination suits because of who someone was? Every time he got to a deposition and ripped into a plaintiff with that disarmingly charming style of his, getting them to give him the information he needed to convince a jury that no, their injury wasn’t caused by the pipe falling on them, it was their own failure to look where they were going and their history of refusing to take care of back pain against doctors orders that caused the real injury he felt a little more of his heart shrink and...every time, he lost a piece of his soul.

The face he remembered didn’t look back at him: the wide-eyed youth full of fire and passion. The face too similar to his brother’s stared back, his hair cut short (at Sesshomaru’s request to maintain the ‘image’ of the firm), the dulled and jaded eyes that looked at everyone as if they were beneath him. Fuck, he had looked at Kagome like that, hadn’t he.

Oh god. She was never going to forgive him, never speak to him again. This time Inuyasha closed his eyes and let the tears flow. Tears were honest, tears were real. 

Tears showed he could still feel. How long had it been since he had felt  _ anything _ ? He hadn’t been happy since their quartet had gone their separate ways. He had buried himself in work to compensate for the loneliness, telling himself it was a need to push farther, to be more, rather than to hide.

He had shut off his emotions… She was right… he had sold his sou...

“NO.” Inuyasha snarled at the mirror as his eyes snapped open. 

He dashed to the bedroom, grabbing a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt before grabbing his cell phone and sending off a message. He quickly forced on an old pair of sneakers and ran out of the apartment, flying up the stairs to the roof as quickly as he could. It didn’t matter that it was almost midnight, he had to see her… he had too. Even if she didn’t let him in, he had to try.

New York City was a city that never slept and even that late at night Midtown was crawling with people, but Inuyasha paid them no mind as he leapt from rooftop to rooftop. He had been by Kagome’s apartment numerous times with Miroku and Sango so he was familiar with the area, something he was immensely grateful for as he gently landed in a park down the block from her apartment.

In moments he stood in front of her door, his heart beating a mile a minute. He took a deep breath and started banging on her door. She would still be up; Kagome was a night owl… right? God, he prayed she was still up. 

Muttered curses from the other side of the door had his tension rising… now that he was there, what the hell was he going to say?

“What the hell could be so important that yo…” Kagome started yelling as she pulled open her front door, revealing the nervous man. As soon as she recognized who was there her attitude changed and she started to pull the door shut. 

Inuyasha’s heart shattered even more as he saw the tracks of mascara down her face, evidence of her tears.

God, he was a right bastard, wasn’t he?

“Kagome,” he whispered, his hand darting out to catch the door.

“What do you want Mr. Taisho?” Inuyasha’s ears lowered at Kagome’s monotone voice.

Mr. Taisho… Not Inuyasha, not Yash, not any of the myriad of teasing names she had called him over the years, but Mr. Taisho.

“Please…” his voice cracked as he fought the tears that threatened to fall. 

“Haven’t you done enough to me, did you come to gloat?” Kagome’s voice was soft but harsh, and Inuyasha flinched with each word.

“No…that’s not it… not it at all I… FUCK.” Inuyasha’s eyes closed as he used his weight to hold the door open. He couldn’t let her close it, close him out. “Kagome… I… I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I…”

“Why can’t you just leave me alone?” she whispered, turning her head to avoid looking at him.

His eyes shot open as fear coursed through him, turning his veins to ice as he took in her profile, the tears pooling against her lashes, the sound of her broken breathing drowning out the ever present sounds of Manhattan.

“I…” his voice trailed off into a soft whimper as he looked at her. He watched Kagome’s tear-stained face turn quickly towards his at the sound. “I can’t… I can’t lose you. When you walked away today it felt like I was losing… everything.” His eyes closed as his words trailed off to be replaced with a soft whine. “I fucked up,” he whimpered. “I fucked up and now it’s… the world is…”

The sound of Kagome stepping back stopped his words and caused his head to fall. He dropped his hand from her door in defeat… It was over… He had crossed a line and destroyed everything without thinking. He waited to hear the door close, shutting him out forever, and could not control the whimpers that broke from his lips. 

“Don’t stand in the door, Inuyasha.” Kagome’s soft whisper had his eyes opening with cautious hope. 

Kagome had backed away, leaving the door open for him to enter. Inuyasha took a hesitant step forward, closing the door behind him. He watched as Kagome turned and walked down the hallway before slowly following her towards the living area of her studio apartment.

“Thank you,” he whispered as he stood at the threshold.

“You’re a fucking ass you know that?” Kagome shot back quietly, her back turned to him.

“I do…” he replied softly, his eyes lowering to the floor.

“What are you really doing here Inuyasha?”

“I…” Inuyasha’s hand reached out to brace himself against her wall as the scent of Kagome washed over him, both soothing him and shattering him at the same time. “I couldn’t stay away… I had to see you, to try … god… I fucked up.”

“Yeah, Inuyasha. You did.”

“Kagome.” He had to know. “Why did you let me in?”

Kagome paused and half turned to look at him.

“You whimpered,” she said simply. 

Inuyasha stared at her, trying to speak but nothing got past the lump in his throat.

“In all the years I have known you, I have never heard that sound from you before,” Kagome continued. “I’ve heard you swear, groan, whine when it will work to your advantage, and growl, but I’ve never once heard you whimper.”

“Kagome,” he finally pushed through, his voice barely recognizable.

“Hearing it, hearing you not able to control it made me think that maybe… just  _ maybe _ you are serious.”

He couldn’t help it; he whimpered at the words, as he felt the guilt… the  _ shame _ wash over him again. He didn’t deserve to be here, but he couldn’t make himself leave.

A small smile ghosted over her face. “Yeah, that sound. It’s the most emotion I’ve ever heard from you.” She turned to face him, her smile dying. “Why did you do it Inuyasha?”

His golden eyes lifted to meet hers, regret and self-loathing swirling in the honeyed gaze. “I… I don’t know.” At Kagome’s soft scoff he shook his head. “Really, I don’t know. I hadn’t… fuck… I didn’t even realize I had until we were standing in the hallway.”

“I’m sorry Inuyasha, I just can’t believe that. You were too precise, too calculated in what you said, in what you brought up…” Her voice dropped again as she turned and stalked towards the kitchen area, putting more space between her and the half-demon.

“You were right.” His words stopped her cold.

“Could you repeat that…?” she asked cautiously, tensing for the anticipated smart response.

“You were right,” he repeated dully, his voice sounded broken as he once again lowered his gaze to the floor. “I sold my soul somewhere along the line and…  _ christ _ … I fell into a routine, the pattern that Sesshomaru had drilled into me. I can’t even tell you what I said, what I did; I don’t remember any of it. I just went on autopilot like the good little machine I’ve become and I…” His hand clenched against the wall, his claws digging small holes into the drywall.

“Inuyasha, I think you should sit down.” Inuyasha shook his head as Kagome approached him. “Inuyasha…”

Later he couldn’t tell you what it was—the feel of her hand against his wrist, the scent of vanilla and strawberries surrounding him, the soft sound of her voice, or a combination of the three—but he felt the control over his emotions snap as a sob was torn out of him. He pulled Kagome against his chest and wrapped his arms around her, holding her close as his head dropped, his nose against her hair as sobs wracked through him. 

He hadn’t cried since the day his parents had died when he was 13, half a lifetime ago, but now the tears poured from him to land in Kagome’s hair as she hesitantly placed her hands against his waist.

“Imsorryimsofuckingsorryimafuckingass,” he whispered desperately, his voice husky with emotion.

Kagome tried to pull away from Inuyasha’s arms, but they tightened even more against her as Inuyasha let out a whimper of protest, refusing to let her escape, terrified she would keep running.

“Inuyasha…” she tried again as he whimpered against her hair. Kagome raised a hand to his cheek, pushing against it until he raised his head, looking down as she tipped hers back to him. “What’s going on, Inuyasha?” she murmured as he pressed his cheek into her hand.

“Please… please don’t walk away from me. Please don’t let me have fucked it up,” Inuyasha pleaded, his golden eyes begging her to stay with him.

“Inuyasha… Yash… Let’s sit down, ok?” Kagome’s voice was soft, soothing, and he closed his eyes, taking small comfort in the fact that she hadn’t thrown him out yet. 

She was treating him like an injured puppy and… fuck that’s what he was, wasn’t he? He nodded before releasing his arm from the grip he had on her, wiping his face with his hand. He felt her hand circle his other wrist to pull it away from her back before leading him to the futon that doubled as her couch. He let her push him down onto it before she sat down next to him, a hand on his knee. Her other hand reached out to stroke his hair, careful to avoid his ears.

“I’m sorry,” he choked out, burying his head in his hands as his shoulders started to shake again.

“Inuyasha, talk to me. I’ve never seen you like this; I can’t help if you don’t let me in.”

“I don’t deserve your help, I’m a fucking soulless asshole.” His voice broke as he spoke.

“Asshole, yes, soulless no Inuyasha,” Kagome soothed, her hand brushing through his hair. She softly stroked the base of an ear, and Inuyasha turned and wrapped his arms around her, burying his face against her neck. He heard Kagome give a soft sigh before she continued. “You aren’t soulless Inuyasha. You’re brutally efficient, but not soulless. There’s a huge difference. I’m mad at you, ohh boy am I fucking mad at you, but at the end of the day you did your job. I wish you hadn’t gone personal, and that’s why I’m pissed at you, but you did your job.”

“I hate it,” he whispered, his tears burning down his cheeks.

“Hey, none of that,” Kagome teased before her tone went serious. “We knew that there was a chance any of the four of us would go against each other; it was just a matter of time.”

“That’s not what I meant,” he murmured, breathing in her scent to try and calm his tears. “I hate that it’s my job. I hate that doing a good job means some fucking asshole gets away with hurting someone. I hate feeling my soul shrivel each time I complete a case and destroy someone’s life. I hate that I don’t know who I am anymore.” He pulled himself away from Kagome to look her in the eyes. “Please… Please Kagome. Who am I?”

She looked at him for a few moments before answering. “Honestly… I don’t know anymore.” Inuyasha’s eyes shuttered as he buried his head in his hands again. “But...I’ll help you find out if you want.”

Inuyasha nodded, refusing to move his head or look at her. 

“Are you going to be ok?”

He shook his head no, coughing back his tears.

“Did you do anything rash?” she asked cautiously, watching Inuyasha. His sigh was the only answer he needed. “What did you do? It’s been what, six hours since we left the courthouse?”

He lowered a hand to dig into his pocket, pulling out his cell phone to pull up the single text message he had sent and handing the phone to her.

“I quit,” she breathed. “Oh Inuyasha, you didn’t.”

“I did.”

“WHY? What are you going to do?”

“I have no fucking idea.” He gave a wry laugh, dropping his hands from his face. “But I had to. I couldn’t go back there. I couldn’t go back to who it was making me. Fuck… look at what I did today. Not just to you but… I fucking defended a company who fired someone because they were just like me. I have faced so much opposition and roadblocks and hatred my entire life, fought to just be seen for who I am and not what I was… and now…” He sat up, dropping his head back as he looked at her ceiling. “Now I’m doing the same to someone else. And fuck… I just didn’t want to do that again. I… I couldn’t.”

Kagome placed the phone on the futon between them before reaching out to place her hand on his knee, not saying a word.

“I just… your voice kept playing through my head, asking me what impact I want to have and I… god Kagome… I just can’t do it anymore. I’m not Sesshomaru, I’m not… I’m not my dad, and I can’t be the person they seem to think I should be. And I just… realized I was lost. I cut my hair to fit the image of who I was supposed to be, I started to wear suits every day… hell I even learned how to tie a fucking tie once I didn’t have you or Sango there to help me.”

“So, what do you want to do?” Kagome’s voice calmed him; it always did. He could listen to her forever.

“I dunno.” Inuyasha tilted his head to the side so he could look at her. “I never took the time to learn what really interested me when we were in school, ya know? It was just expected I would work for Sesshomaru, so it really didn’t matter what I did.”

“Is there anything you had wanted to try?”

“Yeah… but given everything it’s going to sound silly.” He sighed, dropping his head to the back of the futon again. 

“Nothing’s silly, Inuyasha. Come on, tell me. If you could do anything… anything at all, money no object, what would it be?” One of his eyes opened to glance over at her, causing her to roll her eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I know Mr. Taisho, money is no object for you,” she chided before her voice went serious again. “Humor me.”

“Anything I want to do? That’s not asking a lot is it…”

He closed his eyes and let his mind ponder the question. He had never thought of it before really.

“In some ways I envy you.” His voice was faint in the room. “You get to make a difference, a real difference for someone. You aren’t just looking to put a few dollars in someone’s pocket, you aren’t stuck reviewing and drafting endless contracts, looking to create loopholes that just ensure people get screwed.”

“Inuyasha…” Kagome let out a soft sigh as he continued.

“You work every day to help people who society wants to turn a blind eye to, people like me. It must be nice, knowing that doing a good job, getting a win, means you’ve actually won something, you’ve made someone’s life a little bit better, not just for a few days, but for years, the rest of their life.”

“Come join us.” Her voice pulled him out of his musings, and he turned to watch her. “We have an attorney leaving, so there’s going to be an opening, you should apply.”

“It’s never that simple, Kagome,” he scoffed, shaking his head.

“But sometimes it is Inuyasha. Sometimes it is.” She held his gaze, a soft smile on her face. 

That smile always melted him. He would do anything she asked if he saw that smile. He wanted to see her, to see that smile every day, and if he could only do that working with her, he would. Kagome watched him for a moment, and he could see emotions swirling in her eyes. He just… he wished he knew what they were.

“Inuyasha, why did you really come here tonight?” Kagome asked, her voice quiet.

Inuyasha sighed. He couldn’t hide from her, even if she pushed him away, he had to be honest. “I had to. I had to see you. I couldn’t take you being mad at me.”

Kagome let out a soft laugh. “You know I would never be able to stay mad at you for long, Inuyasha.”

“It wasn’t that.” His head rose off the back of the futon as he leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees, clasping his hands before resting his chin against them.

“Then what is it?”

He took a deep breath, his gaze focused at a spot on the wall… he couldn’t look at her and say this… he just couldn’t. “I looked in the mirror and realized just how badly I had fucked things up with the only person who has made me feel alive, who has kept me in any way human, for the past five years and I just…” He finally turned to look at her, golden eyes meeting melted chocolate. “I was scared. For the first time in my fucking life I can honestly say I was scared, terrified that that was it, that I would never see you again, and I...I had to see you. I needed to know that I hadn’t lost you, lost any chance I had of somehow keeping you in my life.”

“Oh, Inuyasha,” Kagome breathed as her eyes widened.

He knew he shouldn’t keep going, but once the door opened, he couldn’t stop himself; he had to lay it all on the table. She needed to know… everything. He shifted to face her on the futon, his knee brushing against hers as he spoke.

“You are the one person that would break me by walking out of my life, Kagome. I’ve been a right ass, I know it, and I… I don’t want to be the person that caused that look in your eyes anymore. The person that would think nothing of using whatever advantage he has, no matter the cost… the cost was too damn high and I just…I can’t lose you. I’ve been in love with you for so long, and I know you don’t realize it but… your text messages, our phone calls, the coffee meet ups, those are the moments that make me feel happy, that make me feel alive. And when I saw your eyes this afternoon, I realized who I was letting myself become and I couldn’t take it anymore. It made me realize that I… don’t like the person I’ve become, and I want to be better, to do more, because I want to, I need to, for me.”

“W... what?” Kagome whispered as she raised a hand to cover her mouth, her eyes swimming and Inuyasha felt hope for the first time.

“Why did you let me in Kagome?” he asked, his eyes never leaving hers.

“I… I had never seen you like that before…” she sniffed, her voice muffled by her hand. “You just looked… defeated.”

“Heh, I was.” 

Kagome shook her head, pressing her hand to her mouth as tears formed in her eyes. “No, Inuyasha… you weren’t. You aren’t.” Her shoulders shook for the second time that day and Inuyasha lowered his eyes, shame pouring through him again. “No, no, you weren’t defeated. You…” she pulled her hand away from her mouth to rub her eyes, the mascara tracks smudging across her cheeks. “I’m actually proud of you.” she whispered. “You had the strength to walk away. That’s courage, not defeat.”

“Sure feels like it,” he murmured as he released her hand.

“Inuyasha…” Kagome started to play with the ends of her hair as she spoke… that one simple gesture telling him how nervous she was too.

“You want to know why I got so mad?”

“Keh, because I was a fucking ass.” His words were tinged with sadness.

“Yes, but it was more than that. Your actions hurt, I won’t say they didn’t, but I can get over being hurt. It was…” Her eyes dropped, looking at their knees barely brushing against each other rather than at him. “I felt like I had finally lost you, lost the man that I had admired in school. That you had let them change you, and that you were happy like that. And I… I wanted the ruff, gruff hanyo back, but in that moment… I wasn’t sure if he had actually existed and I had fallen in lo…”

She bit her lip to stop herself as Inuyasha took a sharp breath in.

“Kagome?”

Her cheeks flushed as she kept her face turned away from his. He reached out to touch her cheek, turning her face up towards his.

“Do… do you still?” He had to know. 

He watched as Kagome’s lashes drifted down, hiding her eyes from his gaze before she nodded slightly, pressing her hand into his cheek.

His arm darted out, wrapping around Kagome’s waist, shifting her until she was sitting in his lap, his arm cradling her close. He lowered his head to rest against her shoulder as he felt tears sting his eyes again.

“Tell me I didn’t fuck that up… please Kagome tell me I didn’t fuck that up.”

“I’ve loved you for years Inuyasha,” she whispered as she stroked his hair. “Why do you think it didn’t work with Hojo?”

Inuyasha raised his head, placing his forehead against hers. “I love you,” he whispered as a tear slid down his cheek.

“I love you, Inuyasha… even though your timing sucks.”

Inuyasha barked out a quick laugh as he shifted back, wiping at his eyes.

“Hey, it’s not something a girl hears everyday… I’m sorry I’ve been an ass, but I love you,” Kagome teased before reaching out to touch his cheek. “But it’s a very ‘Inuyasha’ move.”

“Ruff, gruff hanyo, huh?”

Kagome nodded, a light laugh teasing the edges of her lips. Inuyasha stopped still, entranced by the woman in his arms with the light black smudges against her cheeks. She was gorgeous… and she… he…

He didn’t know which one of them moved first, but he would never forget the first time he felt Kagome’s lips against his, a soft gentle kiss that spoke of hurt, hope, love, forever. He had barely gotten a taste of her when she pulled away hesitantly, her teeth catching her bottom lip in that way that had always driven him crazy.

“Leave it to us to do things out of order, huh?” Inuyasha smiled as he spoke, his hand rubbing Kagome’s back. “The I-love-you’s and the kiss-before-the-first-date?”

Kagome gave a slight laugh as she leaned back to look at him. “You should fix that then,” she responded, trying to sound stern and failing.

“Yeah… I should,” he agreed, drawing her back towards him before lowering his head to kiss her again. “Hey Kagome?” He said as he lifted his lips a breath away from hers.

“Hmmm?”

“What are you up to tonight?”

Kagome’s lips curled into a smile. “Let me check my calendar… I think I have a meeting with this really big asshole who pissed me off something fierce today.”

“Well, he sounds like a real jerk.” He dipped his head back down for a brief kiss. “You should ditch him, go out with me.”

“Hmm, maybe I will,” she agreed, winding her hand behind his neck, holding him close for another kiss.

“Kagome…” Inuyasha tightened his grip on her waist as he rested his forehead against hers again, “thank you. Thank you for still believing in me. For not kicking me out.”

“Oh, don’t get me wrong, you have a lot of making up to do… you aren’t getting out of that…”

He crushed her against him in a tight hug, letting the scent and feel of Kagome, his Kagome, soothe his soul. “I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you,” he promised. 

And he would. He would make sure that she knew every day just how amazing she was. He pulled back to capture her lips with his, deepening the kiss at her soft gasp as he held her against him. 

He could face anything that the world threw at him, as long as she was by his side.

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Inuyasha or any of its characters, I do own the story and the words and ideas contained in it.


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